OMG I’m blogging!

I don’t know why we all suddenly became unable to write humorous stories about cycling. Maybe because there are only so many jokes one can make about amateur racing and recreational rides around Oregon. However, banking on the chance that all of the internet has forgotten said jokes during our 3-month moratorium of writing, I am ready to give this online essay-ery one more try.

Since the last time I wrote (the riveting story of attending lectures) much has transpired. For one, my back is kind of better. I feel like I need to knock on wood after saying that. I was hurt for 6 months, but now that I can accomplish such feats as riding with a backpack on and taking the trash cans out to the curb on trash night. I cannot believe how long I went without these abilities.

And now I am both excited and incredibly nervous to try my hand at the cycling arts again.

It’s especially hard to get back into racing, because so much of what it entails is not fun. I don’t like riding in the cold when I’m tired, or paying money and driving far away, or getting wet, or guilting myself into riding when all I want to do is eat Mallamars and watch the Golden Girls 1st season on DVD.

I don’t even know what Mallamars are, but Blanch always eats them when she’s depressed. It makes depression look nice.

So basically, when I first started feeling like I’d fully recovered I was elated. Now I’m just grumpy that I have to ride. But you know who seems to have a good attitude about this? 1980’s-era Greg Lemond. I only know this because Erin is reading a book he wrote, and everything she’s told me has really impressed me. In true Sosovelo fashion, I think I’ll attempt a book review without knowing the name of the book, what it looks like, or what it’s about.

Greg Lemond’s book about cycling from the 80’s that Erin is reading is fantastic. He advocates for sugar consumption. He encourages casual riders to not spend a ton of money on a bike. He recognizes that people who work full time cannot follow rigorous training plans. I’m definitely falling into a What Would Greg Do mode.

Hmmmm, what else?

Oh! I kind of raced in a bike race in December. I mean, I really did participate, but the race was very casual and extremely enjoyable. I had gone down to San Francisco for a long stay to see if I actually wanted to move back there this summer (I don’t!), and while I was there I attended an event called Soil Saloon.

It turned out to be a big PRO on my pro/con list about San Francisco. It wasn’t enough to convince me to move back, but if you’re ever in the Bay Area I can strongly recommend googling it. They have races every month I think. It’s basically an off-road race that you can do on a road bike. It’s in Golden Gate Park, involves antics, and only costs $5.

I won an orange and some chocolate. And Ethan (who was also in town) won a half used bottle of KY and a box of wine. This seriously put all things I have won in bike races to shame. But not the things I have won in raffles. My luck there has been phenomenal.

In other cycling related news, my financial aid this term has been like that oil in the lamp that inspired Chanukah. I keep buying bikes and stuff for bikes and it keeps not breaking the bank. It’s fucking weird. Maybe I’ll have some new stuff to review. Like track racing. I wonder what that’s all about…

Other stuff:

I am moving to Philadelphia in June or July.

Also I got a new roommate with 2 weirdo cats whom I like a lot.

Also I started a cycling club at school. If you go to PCC you should join it. I did it because club presidents get free health care through the school. But then I started coming up with some actual club ideas. I could involve fun activities. Maybe.

Also “Editor” and I watched Twilight – New Moon and it was kind of funny, but not as funny as the first one. During the movie he coined the new catchphrase, (soon to be ironed onto shirts everywhere), “I’m going to fuck you so hard once we’re married!”

Also I feel like there have been a lot of mysteries going on in my life and the lives of my friends:

- Who is this Grape Ape character and why did he/she email me and Dan Mensher and my friend Dan in Philadelphia about some race/ride with a ton of rules, but not Tony or Mark?

- Who’s been prank calling Erin about base miles?

- Who sent my roommate a birthday card signed Eric Brown (who she doesn’t know) post marked from Seattle?

- Who is Angela, the old woman who has been misdialing my number and leaving me crazy messages for a year?

I’m thinking about becoming a sassy girl detective. I already have a caterer’s outfit. And that’s how you get the hard facts: you dress up as a caterer and show up at a-list parties. Duh.

I think that is a pretty realistic wrap-up of the past 3 months.

UPDATE: This is a mallomar.